Day 6

Today was a quieter day. I only observed, except that my CT and I decided that in order to learn the names of the children as well as possible in the class that will be taught during the time my field supervisor (FS) observes me, I should lead the class for that lesson. Since it was a lesson out of the text book, mostly guided reading and some discussion, I watched Linda teach it once, then I taught the second class. Talk about tap dancing!!!

eek. It went well. Thank goodness I have experience working with children and can think quickly on my feet. My CT even commented that I asked some interesting questions that really made them think, and she was stealing my ideas. That was a nice an unexpected compliment. CT did the intro, and handled the worksheet portion of it, so I only taught about half the class, but it was nice to know that first, she trusted me to do do it well enough, and second, that I can do it well enough that I could easily sub for one of these classes, just in case.

Technically, as an apprentice teacher, we aren't allowed to sub. But because I have my sub certification, I'm legal to sub, and the principal asked me to get the cert approved by that county (different than the one I live in, so another county Board of Ed has to stamp it) so that I could be allowed in the classroom. And the professors who are guiding us through this experience kind of went, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, if the principal asks you to sub while you are student teaching, it means they trust your work, so say yes, because it will help with getting a job when you are finished.

So, I now feel confident that I could handle at least the fifth grade class very well if necessary. That was a big confidence booster.

What was even more amazing is that I only had three hours of sleep last night. I was up quite late getting things ready for this week, plus writing a letter to the principal of the school where my children are attending, because upsetting things are happening to my middle daughter again.

I'm so tired of my poor sweet girl, who is so good (beyond my comprehension) in class, getting punished along with everyone else for the transgressions of a few. This time, they are being randomly assigned to seats at lunch because a few boys wouldn't stop having food fights. So my poor girl was stuck two days in a row with no other girl at her table, and she's quiet and shy. She sobbed and sobbed tonight, because she had such a lousy day.

I love the idea, or maybe the ideal of this school. My oldest daughter was lucky enough to have a wonderful amazing experience there. My youngest daughter is doing ok, too. I'm not happy about some slipping in her skills last year, but that's water under the bridge, and she has a wonderful teacher this year! I hope. Seems to be so, and I'm eager to see what her new progress report says, and hear about the results of her midyear assessments.

But my poor middle daughter is just in an untenable situation this year. The teacher is not at fault. She's doing the best she can without support and with a challenging class that is just overwhelming. I am struggling with horrible guilt that I am not being a good parent to my poor daughter right now. I'm thinking long and hard about what to do to help her. And waiting to hear what the principal says.

I think that working in a different school just brought home to me how radically different they are. The dream of the charter school is awesome. It worked for eldest daughter. The reality is that it's not working for middle daughter. So I have to figure out what to do to help her.

I will take comfort from the following quote, for a little while longer while I ponder what our alternatives are.

The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.
~ John Powell