Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Day 8 - Believing in Our Students

There are so many wonderful quotes about how students live up to our expectations. As teachers, we are adjured to believe in our students, give them the highest expectations, strive to integrate learning across the disciplines, differentiate lessons so that everyone will learn to their maximum potential.

And then you run smack into the wall of reality.

The question then becomes how do you make reality match the ideal? Is it even possible?

I hope I never become blase or pessimistic about that. I know far too many teachers who have become that way. I also know lots of amazing and wonderful teachers who are still positive, still enthusiastic, still changing the world one student at a time.

Today I spent time reviewing the IEPs (Individual Learning Plans) of students in the fifth and sixth grade classes. I'm still learning names - remembering names might be the bane of my teaching career. 120+ names is a LOT to learn, when you've never met any of them before! I think I have faces to go with all those names; we'll see tomorrow, as I check against the seating charts.

I'm impressed with how my CT has decided to accommodate the students with IEPs. I've learned some good stuff. I've realized I still have a long way to go. I am more determined than ever to include some special ed classes in my electives for my degree. It's important stuff, differentiated learning, and not so easy to know what to do.

Teachers, at least the good ones who care, are pretty amazing people.

Many instructional arrangements seem "contrived," but there is nothing wrong with that. It is the teacher's function to contrive conditions under which students learn. It has always been the task of formal education to set up behavior which would prove useful or enjoyable later in a student's life.
~ B.F. Skinner

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Day 7

Taught today. Did a lesson on Paul Revere and his midnight ride, and Sybil Ludington and her midnight ride. Did you know there was a sixteen year old girl who did the same thing? I didn't, until I started planning this lesson.

This lesson was delivered to me by my CT, and I just added the frills, so it wasn't too much work. I read the Longfellow poem, they read the Ludington poem plus an abridged version of the Revere poem, then completed a Venn Diagram comparing the two.

My CT liked how I pulled some higher level thinking skills out of them. She told me not to get discouraged when they didn't answer, that they weren't used to it.

I told her that's why I went into teaching. To get kids to think.

It was a good day.

The aim of education should be to teach us rather how to think, than what to think -- rather to improve our minds, so as to enable us to think for ourselves, than to load the memory with thoughts of other men.
~ Bill Beattie

Monday, January 29, 2007

Day 6

Today was a quieter day. I only observed, except that my CT and I decided that in order to learn the names of the children as well as possible in the class that will be taught during the time my field supervisor (FS) observes me, I should lead the class for that lesson. Since it was a lesson out of the text book, mostly guided reading and some discussion, I watched Linda teach it once, then I taught the second class. Talk about tap dancing!!!

eek. It went well. Thank goodness I have experience working with children and can think quickly on my feet. My CT even commented that I asked some interesting questions that really made them think, and she was stealing my ideas. That was a nice an unexpected compliment. CT did the intro, and handled the worksheet portion of it, so I only taught about half the class, but it was nice to know that first, she trusted me to do do it well enough, and second, that I can do it well enough that I could easily sub for one of these classes, just in case.

Technically, as an apprentice teacher, we aren't allowed to sub. But because I have my sub certification, I'm legal to sub, and the principal asked me to get the cert approved by that county (different than the one I live in, so another county Board of Ed has to stamp it) so that I could be allowed in the classroom. And the professors who are guiding us through this experience kind of went, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, if the principal asks you to sub while you are student teaching, it means they trust your work, so say yes, because it will help with getting a job when you are finished.

So, I now feel confident that I could handle at least the fifth grade class very well if necessary. That was a big confidence booster.

What was even more amazing is that I only had three hours of sleep last night. I was up quite late getting things ready for this week, plus writing a letter to the principal of the school where my children are attending, because upsetting things are happening to my middle daughter again.

I'm so tired of my poor sweet girl, who is so good (beyond my comprehension) in class, getting punished along with everyone else for the transgressions of a few. This time, they are being randomly assigned to seats at lunch because a few boys wouldn't stop having food fights. So my poor girl was stuck two days in a row with no other girl at her table, and she's quiet and shy. She sobbed and sobbed tonight, because she had such a lousy day.

I love the idea, or maybe the ideal of this school. My oldest daughter was lucky enough to have a wonderful amazing experience there. My youngest daughter is doing ok, too. I'm not happy about some slipping in her skills last year, but that's water under the bridge, and she has a wonderful teacher this year! I hope. Seems to be so, and I'm eager to see what her new progress report says, and hear about the results of her midyear assessments.

But my poor middle daughter is just in an untenable situation this year. The teacher is not at fault. She's doing the best she can without support and with a challenging class that is just overwhelming. I am struggling with horrible guilt that I am not being a good parent to my poor daughter right now. I'm thinking long and hard about what to do to help her. And waiting to hear what the principal says.

I think that working in a different school just brought home to me how radically different they are. The dream of the charter school is awesome. It worked for eldest daughter. The reality is that it's not working for middle daughter. So I have to figure out what to do to help her.

I will take comfort from the following quote, for a little while longer while I ponder what our alternatives are.

The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.
~ John Powell

Day 5 - First lesson

On Friday, I taught my first lesson, to three classes. It was fun; the kids were great, and we all had a good time.

I like the school where I am apprentice teaching. The teachers are all nice, the kids are respectful and well-behaved, and still enjoy learning. This is a fun age, 10-12 year olds. They still like school, aren't quite blase yet - you don't have to work quite as hard to have fun with them!

The lesson was on the New England states. Because it was my first formal lesson my cooperating teacher (CT) picked out the lesson, and explained what she wanted me to do. Technically, I was only supposed to observe for the first week, so I am glad that I was given a chance to just jump right in, even though I was nervous a little.

Growing up in the northeast, learning to swim was always a challenge, because the warm water season is very short. I've never been one to slowly and torturously wade into cold water, I usually just take the plunge and get it all over with at once. It felt a little like that, just dove right into the class and got my first lesson over and done with. Now I can relax the tiniest bit and have more fun!

So I did a little intro discussion, to both draw out the students' prior knowledge and help me understand what they knew and didn't know. They'd already studied the colonies, so knew a lot about the states we would look at for the lesson, didn't know as much about the Revolutionary War period.

I found a fun state maze book, with really hard mazes! Pulled two out - Massachusetts, because they would get lots of info about Massachusetts in the video, and Maine, because the maze looked fun. They watched the video, we talked about some vocabulary, and then they worked on the maze while I walked around with the solution book, in case anyone thought they solved it. I think only about 3 or 4 students solved it during class, out of the almost 60 in all three classes, so I am truly a mean soul to give them such a difficult maze! They laughed a lot while calling me cruel and evil.
:-)

I'm glad to have the first one finished. I'm looking forward to the next two, because I am putting much more of myself and my own ideas into the next lessons. I'm pulling in my own experiences as a communication skills instructor, a DRE, a mom, and my ancient old theater background from high school and college and young adult years.

Practice is the best of all instructors.
~ Publilius Syrus

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Day 4

I'm having fun. My cooperative teacher, Linda, is very flexible, as am I, so we're enjoying my being able to see an opportunity in class, ask her if she wants me to add to the discussion, her saying yes, and me being able to work with all the classes for short periods.

Today, the 5th grade had a mini lesson on political cartoons. They used a couple cartoons in the text book, one from the Revolution (what they're currently studying) and one from current politics. Linda commented that there would be lots of political cartoons out this week because the President talked, and I asked if she wanted me to look for some. She agreed, reminding me to make sure they were safe, and I took 10 minutes to bring some current political cartoons up about Bush's State of the Union address.

The kids had a blast, I led the discussion from the online cartoons, because Linda is less comfortable interpreting political cartoons, and the entire class had some good laughs!

Today I'm putting together a smart board interactive presentation on labeling New England states. The tech teacher loaded up my laptop with the software, handed me a user guide, and I'm set to go. Nothing I like more than a new tech toy!

I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to learn new classroom technology techniques! My field advisory recommended I also become intimately familiar with Powerpoint, which I haven't used often and don't know very well. He likes powerpoint, wants to see me use it for lessons. By the time I have a chance to take the "Technology in the Classroom" course at FDU, I should be able to teach it!

All who have meditated on the art of governing mankind have been convinced that the fate of empires depends on the education of youth.
~ Aristotle

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Day 3

Today I taught my first partial lesson.

Listen to how lucky I was ... I found a school and a class where they are learning world religions as well as world history & geography. And this week was the start of Ancient China. On Tuesday, the sixth graders learned about Confucius and Taoism, so I volunteered to bring in some additional information about both. That's fun, for me!

So I got to have a nice discussion about yin-yang, The Way, Tai Chi, and why Confucius' words still apply to us today. Can't imagine a more fun way to teach!

On Friday, I'm teaching a geography lesson to the fifth graders. It won't be as much fun, so I'm working on making it more interesting! I found a book of state mazes ... that's a start.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
~ Confucius

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Day 2 of Apprentice Teaching

Today I met my Field Supervisor. The amount of work that I will have to produce this semester - the reality of it - sunk in quite suddenly, as he discussed the magnitude of the work I would be producing for apprentice teaching. Then I went to tonight's class - the accompanying seminar. On Monday nights, I have my teaching math course.

egh.

After two days in school, plus rushing off to two evening classes in a row, still recovering from a bad cold, and starting to understand just how much work will be expected again this year, I'm feeling overwhelmed.

I'll be taking it one small step at a time, one day at a time.

The good news is, I have a very nice cooperating teacher with lots of experience. The kids are nice, friendly, good kids. Curious. I like that! And I like my field supervisor. He's funny, gregarious, and I think he'll be very helpful. He already gifted me with a full set of New Jersey Core Curriculum Content Standards. A true gift indeed, especially to my printer ink budget!

Let us not be content to wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen.
~ Horace Mann

Monday, January 22, 2007

Starting Student Teaching

The past few weeks of break have been a recovery period for me. The end of last semester was so intense, I'm not quite sure how I survived it. No sleep, over 300 pages of written material written and turned in, plus two days a week of subbing.

I took some time off of the computer, to pay attention to my children and my house, all of which was pretty well ignored between Thanksgiving and December 22nd. My daughters needed attention, and the dust bunnies were ankle high!

Today I start my first day of 15 weeks of student teaching. I'm nervous, excited, emotions all over the place.

I think I will keep in mind Buddha's words today:
Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.
~ Buddha
I'm going to attempt to log every day of student teaching. I don't know if I can keep it up, because I also have two evening classes, but I expect that documenting a little every day will be fascinating to read, years or even months down the road ...

Monday, January 01, 2007

For Devin Yurga

On Saturday, Devin Yurga was working on a Knowlton farm, using a tractor to uproot a tree, when the 2-ton vehicle flipped on top of him about 10:30 a.m., State Police and relatives said. The boy died almost 11 hours later at Morristown Memorial Hospital.
http://www.nj.com/search/index.ssf?/base/news-5/1167631841177860.xml?starledger?nnj&coll=1

To read the devastating news that a good young man has died before his time is to lose a piece of our soul. A tiny piece just goes spinning off into the universe, as we watch helplessly, wondering at the futility of taking care of our children, how in spite of our best care, they go and get pinned under a tractor and die on us. It’s unreasonable to expect us to know how to deal with such pain, such trauma.

So we cry quiet tears, rocking in anguish as the tears track slowly down our cheeks, drip from our chins, moisten the earth or the kitchen floor or our daughter’s head as we hold our children close, to keep them safe for one more precious moment. We keen our wild crazy grief in the shower, clutching our bellies in despair at our inability to keep our children safe. We startle from sleep in the dark hours of the night, and waft silently from bedroom to bedroom, checking on our children to make sure that they are still there, still safe, still with us.

How do we answer one mother’s anguish? How do we offer comfort in the face of despair? How do we still our own deep dark panic? How do we begin to come back to center ourselves, and continue on with life? How do we find an answer for untimely death?

We may never find an answer. The only way I know to answer a mother’s anguish is to reach out a hand, a hug, a shoulder to cry on, an offer to share the load of grief, to sit in silent witness. We still the panic by sitting through it, holding onto ourselves and each other until the panic passes, as it always does. We come back to center the same way, by sitting with the grief, sitting with the pain, understanding always that while it will never entirely leave us, it will lessen. Moments of joy will work their way back into our lives, if we but open our eyes enough to see them.

Our job here is to live our lives, with all the pain and agony, with all the tenderness and compassion, with all the glorious spirit we can muster. We live our lives in spite of everything that happens to us, and because of everything that happens to us. We live our lives for the sake of living, because life, after all, goes on. It goes on through agony, through heartbreaking sadness, through misery, through healing, through joy and laughter, through passion, through quiet simple peace.

We have a choice therefore, to live as a silent prisoner of misery, or to allow ourselves to finally float up to the air, up to the light, buoyed by our own ocean of salty tears perhaps, but float, allowing the gentle sun to finally dry our tears, balm our souls, heal our wounds.

We begin those first motions toward the light by acknowledging our pain. It hurts, deeply, shatteringly, exquisitely. We feel our pain, and by sitting with it, allowing it to waft through every cell of our bodies, we allow it finally to begin to trickle out of us. And those first drops of pain that finally melt from our bodies along with the rivers of tears begin to lighten our souls, to give us the buoyancy we need to start our journey forward back into life.

Healing will come.

Devin, we will miss you!

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

from Dream Work by Mary Oliver