Class

Oh. My. Goodness.

I think I have finally figured it out. The reason for the lesson the universe is insisting I learn right now. The one that has made sure I’ve endured trial after trial after trial.

For a while, I thought maybe I needed to learn grace under pressure, or how to allow stress to just flow through my body without affecting me, or something zen-like that would help my coping skills. I was, after all, a rather reactionary teen, easily erupting into flames upon the slightest provocation. My brothers called me Lucy (from Peanuts) growing up because I was so bossy. And there were many, many slammed doors during my adolescence. So I felt as though perhaps I was enduring a bit of “what goes around, comes around” kind of same-lifetime karmic debt. Except it wasn’t my own adolescents reacting that way, causing me the trials and tribulations of what my parents had to endure during my adolescence. It was life from outside attacking from all quarters.

I had a wonderful conversation yesterday with a friend from my covenant group, who called because she was concerned about my well-being, given all I’ve been through in the last couple years. She told me about “The Cloud of Unknowing”, written by a 14th century monk as guide to achieving perfect union with the creator. Since our conversation, I’ve been contemplating how a lesson might be pulled from the idea that I must let go of all earthly concerns to find perfect peace.

And then this Ann Landers quote arrived in my inbox this morning:

“Class is the sure-footedness that comes with having proved you can meet life.”

and I realized … it’s that simple. I am learning class. That’s the lesson the universe is currently force-feeding me.

Maybe it really is all about grace under pressure.

I think I will be some classy chick when life is through with me.

What do you think?

Wanted: Job for a creative teacher!

So why is it that baby boomer teachers are retiring all over the country, causing a major shortage of teachers, and in northwestern NJ, no one will leave???!!!

According to the NY Times, schools are offering bonuses as they compete for a limited pool of teachers. And the local schools here have no openings.

I have one friend telling me about the many positions in Fairfax, Virginia. Another telling me that Las Vegas has hundreds of unfilled positions. And my children beg me to not make them leave their schools. Makes it really challenging to know what to do.

In the meanwhile, I’ve registered to sub at every local school. I’m hoping that will help me at least get some interviews.

200+ applicants for one position are odds too just overwhelming for any normal person.

But someone, somewhere, will want a teacher who is passionate about learning, great at building rapport with students, excited about teaching (AND with years of experience working with children and adolescents, so knows what she is getting into!), and with extraordinary gifts to share with children.

If you are such an administrator, want my resume?

“The essence of optimism is that it takes no account of the present, but it is a source of inspiration, of vitality and hope where others have resigned; it enables a man to hold his head high, to claim the future for himself and not to abandon it to his enemy.”

—Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945), theologian

What Tarot Card are You?

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Nebula!

Some photos of Nebula Workshop, for your enjoyment.

It was a grueling hot week, and we had fun anyway!

Guide Bradley helped us learn all about wild edibles.
(We learned how to brush our teeth with sassafras.)


We cooked with Guide Robin.

We letterboxed with Guide Andy.


We gardened with Guide Mike.

We built fires.

We slept overnight under the stars.

It was hot. We survived.

We cooled off in the stream.

We fell in love all over again with nature.

It was an awesome week!

Staying on the Surface

Your life is not
an endless series of open doors!
Listen to your heart!
Do not stay on the surface
but go to the heart of things!
And when the time is right,
have the courage to decide!
~ Pope John Paul II

This is a week for me to be pondering whether or not I am managing to get to the heart of things. Looking for a teaching job can be discouraging.

When I started, the unemployment office told me that elementary teacher positions were the second highest need job in New Jersey. I took that as a good sign … there were lots of opportunities to find a teaching position once I received my certification. So I took a leap of faith, went back to school in a grueling endurance test for me and the girls, and now am the proud owner of a K-5 teaching certificate, plus a middle school social studies cert on its way!

And those jobs? Well, they certainly aren’t local. Teachers in this part of the state stay in their jobs for an eternity. I mean 30 to 40 years. Nobody leaves. Once in a blue moon, someone gets pregnant and a maternity spot opens up, but those are few and far between because most of the teachers are in their 50’s or older!

Which means this summer has also been a test of my faith in myself. Can I maintain my confidence in myself when I’m not even invited in for interviews?

That quote by Pope John Paul II has made me stop and take stock of my life. Have I walked by an open door? If those open doors are truly finite in number, have I passed by an opportunity? Does that mean I should be looking at teaching positions as far away as Jersey City?

Have I gone to the heart of myself? Have I faced my fears? Do I have lingering questions on my capabilities to be a teacher that remain unaddressed, that might sway an interviewer to consider me less than perfectly capable? Have I allowed doubt to creep into my voice, my demeanor?

Have I kept courage? Have I maintained my faith in myself? If I can’t believe that I’m the best person for a teaching position, how would I ever convince someone else to hire me?

This morning I sit, pondering the heart of job-seeking. It’s an amazing process, to re-enter the job market as a neophyte at 50 years old. That quiet confidence that results from years of success needs to be solidly shored up from previous unrelated experiences. I have to dig deep into the Why I was successful; pull the core essence of my strengths into a new vision – a vision of a new me – a vision of a new future.

Not so easy to do.

Each morning, as I sit to review the new posted ads, I also review what drew me to teaching. I remember my successes, and my failures, in all my work with children and youth. The successes rebuild my confidence each day, the failures help me determine how and where I need to grow to become even better.

Each morning, as I sip my coffee in the quiet of a house with slumbering children, I think about what makes a good teacher, and I resolve within myself to recognize those gifts within me, to celebrate the lessons learned, to recognize my call to teach.

And I trust that the right door will be open, that I will recognize that door when I pass it, and that I will have the courage to walk through that door when I find it.

I will stay in the heart.

My Dæmon

We just watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix yesterday, driving an hour and a half (in an air-conditioned car!!) to an air-conditioned mall, to watch the IMAX version of OoP, and the girls treated me (with their recently earned babysitting money) to dinner, in the air-conditioned mall!

Can you tell that it was hot yesterday???!!!

I loved the movie - thought it was the best since the first movie. And the special effects in 3-D at the IMAX theater were awesome, so if you have a chance to see it that way, go!

We were talking about upcoming movies, since we didn't see any previews at the IMAX, and Traveler Girl asked me to get her copies of Phillip Pullman's Dark Materials series, so she could reread them before the movie is released. We both loved the books, so I spend my Amazon coupon buying a copy of the series, since now there are three of us (perhaps four by then) who will want to reread the books before the movie arrives.

Then a friend sent this link, to find your own Dæmon. And the site gives you a few days to ask for feedback from friends before the Dæmon is finalized. So here's your chance ... click on the link and let me know if you agree or disagree with my self-assessment!

NOT MY DAUGHTER! YOU BITCH!!!
- Molly Weasley